CONFLICTS AND RELATIONSHIP

At the start of a new relationship, particularly love relationships, things seems all rosy and perfect. You find that you can’t think of any bad sides to your partner; thoughts of him/her consume your being. Oh, I know just how intensive this feelings can be!

Fast forward to 3 or 4 years down the line, the scales have fallen off your eyes. You are no longer blinded to his/her faults. The conflicts and misunderstanding are coming up more often than not. You find yourself wondering “Where did I go wrong? What has changed? How did I miss the signs? Where do I go from here?” and so many other questions.

In the case of married couples; those who got married while basking in the euphoria of love, this can be overwhelmingly disconcerting; enough to make either or both partners to contemplate divorce. That is why statistics show that 20% of marriages tend to crash in their first five years.

Whether married or not, single, engaged or in any kind of relationship (work and business included), this doesn’t have to be you. You do not deserve to go through life flitting like the soft breeze that barely manages to ruffle flimsy attires hung on the drying lines. You do not deserve to merely exist without continuing to enjoy the most beautiful feelings of being in a good/perfect relationship with your partner. No matter the amount of water that has gone under the bridge, you can still get back to where you both first started off.

But for this to happen, you need to know how to manage confrontations in a relationship. This is life and no matter how much you desire otherwise, conflicts and misunderstandings will surely arise. How you manage it is what will make the difference. With this tips you can manage the conflicts in your relationship and enjoy a more fulfilling relationships with your loved ones, family, friends, work colleagues and even business partners.

• COMMUNICATE – Left for me, communication will take up the first five tips of managing conflicts in a relationship. The reason is not too far-fetched. It is quite literally the only factor that can make or break your relationship in the twinkle of an eye. Communicate! Communicate again! And keep communicating!!! You have an issue with what your partner has done, said or felt; talk about it. Do you have issues at work, financial problem, or any other personal issues that may invariably affect your relationship with your partner? Talk about it. If for nothing else, your partner deserves to know what is behind the rift that your silence is causing. Any problem in a relationship is half-solved with communication, so keep communicating. Do not ever give room for a gap in communication.
• OWN UP TO YOUR MISTAKES – Most times, I have found that the conflicts in a relationship arise only when the guilty partner refuses to own up to his/her mistakes and the other partner is so aggrieved about the situation. Truly, it can be annoying to think or feel that your feelings have been termed inconsequential and so have been neglected. No matter how minor you think your offenses are, own up to it and apologize. Also, work hard towards not repeating the same mistakes again and again. You would be saving yourself and your partner a whole lot of headaches and heartaches, if you do this.

• FORGIVE AND FORGET – For most people, forgive do not come easily, not to talk of forgetting. However, I have come to realize that nothing kills a relationship faster than bearing grudges and refusing to forgive. Do you know what unforgiveness does? It keeps you from living life with your partner to the fullest! Life is too short, if you ask me. If someone makes you happy, hold on to him/her with both hands. If it means forgiving his/her minor offenses, then do so. Wouldn’t you rather be happy in the short time you have on earth than spend the whole time living in regrets due to unforgiveness?
• GIVE IT TIME – In the previous tip, we talked about forgiveness. But like we know, forgiveness is not always that easy. It may have taken your work/business/life partner a lot of time to trust you. Breaking that trust and expecting him/her to forgive you immediately and move on from it is unrealistic. It doesn’t mean they no longer love you or value you. No, that is beside the point. The point is that they are trying to move past the hurt you’ve put them through. All you can do is be a little understanding and give him/her time to heal from it and grow to trust you again.
• LEAVE OUT THIRD PARTIES – Sometime last month, I watched a movie where a couple apparently in love and about to get married each had friends that were actually enemies set on stopping the marriage. It occurred to me that a lot of the people we see around us may not have good intentions towards us, particularly when it comes to our relationships with our loved ones. Beware of the people you confide in, especially if in a love relationship. In reality, you have no business talking to any other person (asides professionals) about your partner except your partner. You are not only making yourself a topic of ridicule, but you are also setting your partner up to be disrespected by those people you confide in.
• SEEK SOLUTIONS – A time or two may occur in a relationship where most efforts to move past pending issues are not yielding solutions. You have tried several times to communicate with your partner. You’ve knelt, you’ve pleaded and you even asked forgiveness for an offense that you actually committed or even for one you do not know of. If your partner is still showing interest albeit unyielding, then it may be time to seek professional help. Sign up for a couple of counseling sessions and talk to a relationship coach. Believe me, this is a more effective solution than talking to friends who are bound to choose one side over another and may even give biased opinions to suit their own desires. Want to contact one? Click on this link.
• PRAY ABOUT IT – I have always believed that a Divine Being is there to direct my path. In times past, I have sought assurance on life’s issues and before taking important decisions. If you believe in a Higher Power, then I would advise seeking directions from your Higher Power on the path to follow.

• MOVE ON, IF YOU HAVE TO – So, you’ve tried all the tips above and have done all the rules in the book, yet none seems to be working. What if I told you it is time to let go? moving on is probably the hardest decision you can take, but it may be the best of this point. Squash down the fear that you might never find a better partner; someone half as good as he/she is. Odds are that you may find someone better. Understand that you can’t force someone to stay in a relationship that he/she doesn’t want to stay in. Just keep an open mind about things. Sometimes, even the most perfect relationship may have to end at one point or another for a better one to start.

Developing a relationship (be it work, business or love relationships) is one of the most essential part of life that is considerably easy. However, maintaining that relationship cannot be said to be such an easy task because conflicts are bound to arise often and on. Knowing the ways to manage these conflicts is key to enjoying a lasting relationship.

Read Also: Before You Say “I Do”