Dare to be bored

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On the 9th January 2017 I celebrated my 40th birthday. For days ahead I wondered how I would celebrate this milestone. Unfortunately, my husband was going to be out of town that week for business; so I went on Google and started researching what others had done to celebrate their 40th birthday day.

After hours of searching I finally decided to do something that I wanted to do, something authentic, no apologies.

In the past my coach has always talked about “Being”, living in the moment and letting the river flow where it will. Somehow I had struggled with that concept, as I am always one to seek control, plan ahead, set goals and manage every situation or outcome possible. Somewhere in my subconscious I had connected “Being” with “being bored”.

I took my birthday week off work, during this week I decided to do something different, try new things, do things I have never done, and in my own way, things that scare me or bore me. I did not want to set any big and mighty goals but to do the simple little things that have always escaped me.

I have an active lifestyle as a career woman and somehow I have always found it difficult to get bored. So for my birthday I took the entire week off (something I rarely do apart from family vacations). I decided to set no predefined goals, no matter how hard that was and wake up each day with an unclear itinerary.

The entire week I took my kids to school; on day one, I decided to have coffee with the school mums after the morning school run. At some stage I was getting bored as I listened to conversations on where to get the best vegetables, what the teachers were up to etc… Right in the middle of this group my attention was caught by the birds chipping close by and it was refreshing to know that it can be peaceful, just listening to birds. Is this a glimpse of the “mindfulness concept” my coach had always talked about?

While gifts swamped my house, my husband called to send his love, friends and loved ones called to wish me well, I took off to get myself a blender (my birthday wish for myself, i am all into living healthy!) and make my hair.

Day two worked out pretty much the same but I stayed a little longer at my daughter’s school; she wanted me to watch her swim, and I was glad I did.

Later that evening while we were all home, I stepped out for thirty minutes and watched the sun set, it was a beautiful experience and reminded me that as kids this was one of the fun activities we cherished.

As I got bored, I ended up calling friends and catching up with close buddies. This as well was not my usual routine, as mostly during the working week I would be so busy, as I was always chasing a project, a goal, always busy being a high flying career woman, a wife and mum.

I spoke with a dear friend that was going through such a tough time in her career. She was one of those people I looked up to and was heartbroken to see how demotivated she had become. I offered her some assistance, to research and connect her with possible options for a career change. That made me proud, to go out of my way, my small world, and seek to support those who I loved.

Day three also was one with no clear defined goals, I took each hour as it came. The coffee mums at school had offered to take me to lunch the next day. I thought it was a wonderful gesture, as I was not one to usually hang out with them, as I have always been the busy executive to them.

After school, my kids requested that they play a bit at the playground before going home, very much unlike the busy career mum I am; I let them play, only leaving when they were ready. They were all chatty on the way home, I could sense that made them happy. Play made them happy!

Watching them play changed my perspective about happiness, they were simply happy to play while i looked on. No need for candies, gifts and all the fancy stuff i would line up to entice them and save time on a normal day; as i was always in a hurry to get back to work.

Day four, I had lunch with the ladies after the school run. We first spent time chatting over coffee. I was pleasantly surprised with the cake and gifts they showered me with, I couldn’t believe the love all around. I have been so busy chasing my career I had forgotten what simple living felt like.

That evening I spent some time with myself. Yes! I was on a date with myself, followed by some Salsa dancing. I love Salsa, but it has been years since I last danced. It was beautiful to just be with me, refusing to use my phone at the dinner, but learning to soak up all that was happening around me. Later on I was joined by one of my close friends and we spent the rest of the evening bonding over beautiful Latin music.

Day five was a continuation of my “Yes” to new and uncomfortable stuff. I went for a pedicure with one of the school mums and spent the entire afternoon with myself, reading my bible and listening to gospel music. I was beginning to enjoy being bored.

Day six saw me at my daughters’ ballet practice, which has been a part of my routine for some time. However, while I waited for my daughter I decided to tint my eye brows and eye lashes. This was new for me; I was a little bit scared trying it out, in the end it turned out I couldn’t recognize the difference in my look. Getting my eye brows tinted sounded so vain, here was i, giving myself permission to be vain! I spent the rest of the day babysitting my friends” kids, she was out of town and my kids love to hang out with them. I even had time to do some laundry (doing laundry is never the usual for me.)

Day seven was “boring“ as well. Now boring was beginning to sound like fun to me. I invited my golf buddy to church and he loved it. I can’t remember the last time i reached out for a social meeting outside my business cycles. I went shopping for salmon, watched soccer (something that bored me). Frankly most of the time during the match I just anticipated the end of it. I was getting comfortable doing uncomfortable things, no matter how small they were, it was okay for me.

That was how I celebrated my forty years on this planet, learning how to get bored. Yes! I had a “boring” birthday, one that opened me up to the possibility of just “being” and knowing that it is okay to sometimes allow things to happen on their own. As driven, goal oriented career people, lets know it’s just fine to live a bit as we grow our careers.

(Credit – Ryan McGuireFo)

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