Having it all: A Family, Her Life’s Vocation and Everything in Between

Do you want to give up your career or dreams because you feel you can’t cope with the demands of work and family? Here I am saying don’t throw in the towel because you can if you can say you can.

All you need is a healthy dose of a good plan and determination.

Can a woman have it all? Our families and kids are one of our most important jobs and should be held in high regard. Letting go of your dreams or one of the avenues for your unique expressions will mean you are sabotaging your own self-fulfillment and self-actualization possibilities. In other words, it will be like living a one-sided life. Besides, when you commit to utilizing your abilities in whichever way you want, you become a role model for your kids.  You will be sending a serious message to your female children and others whom you would come across in life that they can be anything they aspire to.We need to see both roles of Motherhood and living our vocation as complementing and aligning with each other. 

One memorable day, I opened my Instagram feed and found a post on Glenn Close an American actress dedicating her Golden Globes award to her mom amidst tears. She said her mom had forgone her dreams to stay at home to support her dad. Her mom in her 80’s told her, looking back, she believed she wasted her life. The lesson to take from this is: you shouldn’t sabotage your vocational dreams because you want a family. Thank God we live in a time when you can be anything and achieve anything–technology has changed the way we work and learn. Imagine what life would be like if women all over the world did not contribute to societal development. And recently, organizations that have women at the helm of management are affirming that they see great improvements in their bottom line.

Women are nurturers by nature and as such always contending with the decision of whether to stay at home to raise the kids or enter into the world of work not just to contribute their financial quota to the family upkeep but also to realize their professional ambitions.

Come to think of it, aside from being women, we are first humans with intellectual endowments that need to be expressed and harnessed for the good of our society. I believe a woman was created to be more than just a nurturer. A woman has talents and abilities. A woman can build a thriving family while achieving her dreams whether that be pursuing a career, holding a high political office, running a business, or making some good happen in her community, etc. and as a close acquittance says, “there are many ways to kill a rat”. So sister, the whole essence of my rant is this: you can! Let’s see how.

Find a Way: If we all make a list of what our excuses are not to push through each day, accomplished women would not find themselves where they are today. If your aspiration is to hold a foreign-policy dream job as Anne-Marrie Slaughter once had but your hands are full because of family responsibilities, what other ways can you use your abilities and how do you intend to continue your personal growth and development? Think.

Determine What Works for You: Tara Fela Durotoye founder of ‘House of Tara’ says she plans her work-life balance by understanding the seasons in her life. She is a lawyer by profession and the pioneer of the bridal makeup industry in Nigeria. She is also an internationally acclaimed makeup artist with over twenty make-up studios across Nigeria, five thousand sales representatives and over 150 employees. Imagine the huge responsibilities that rest on her shoulder. But over the years, she has consistently combined work with family successfully. How does she do this? She says, there are days her children will need her more than work and so she plans her schedule around that. I recall one of my mentors telling me she ensures her kids go to bed at most by 7 pm so she can have a ‘me time’. You alone you can come up with something that works for your family and also caters to your professional life.

Build Your Support Network

You should have a support system. One nonprofit professional mentioned in a seminar that her mum was helpful at a time she had to do lots of travel. She also advises you get a domestic help to stay with you or come over maybe at weekends to help you. You can also enlist the support of your spouse, friends and relatives. You don’t have to do it all alone.

You can have it all if you choose to. Don’t let your dreams die, you deserve to reach your full potential as well.

Read Also: 6 Tips to help you better manage your home and Career